an itching sensation...

My ex...(Air...THE ex, I suppose) had a saying whenever he was having a nicotine craving. He'd say, "My brain itches." I was never sure how he identified that feeling, because everyone experiences things differently, but I can tell you how I experience it - because my brain itches for no reason sometimes, and right now it's worse than it's been in a long time.

First of all, it isn't a headache. My neck is a tiny bit stiff, but nothing terribly noticeable. Rather, my head feels as if it's too small to hold my brain and the fluids around it. My scalp and neck and the inside of my skull tingle. The inside of my skull itches, too, and there's literally nothing that can be done for it.

I slept for perhaps 4-5 hours last night - dozing on and off, with strange and confusing dreams. I wake up just as energetic as I was in the half hour before I forced myself to go to bed.

If nothing else, at least I'm being somewhat creative, now. I made another necklace last night - this one was more complex than any of the others I'd made, and took quite a bit longer, but I think it's pretty, regardless. Jake thinks I should try selling some of it - I'd mentioned doing so offhandedly, and he seems to think it's a good idea. I just don't have the confidence to think I could do so, I suppose. I also don't have the kind of money I'd need to build up a good amount of pieces so I could feel comfortable trying to sell anything. Not...that I think they'd sell. Life doesn't work that way, and I'm certainly not talented enough to try for it.

This morning I am up - but not in a pleasant way - I still feel irritable and miserable and suicidal, except now I'm jumpy and full of energy on top of it. Lovely...